Have you ever been in a position where your heart wants something but your mind tells you to not go through with it? Of course you have. Everyone has. I am facing a such a dilemma right now. Everything is against my hearts wish, I know this but still… I can’t help but to feel the slightest hope, the slightest spark that something might actually turn out good. Oh, so many times you have wanted to cross that bridge and it all seems well until you realize that the last pieces of wood is missing. You can’t continue and you can’t go back, you will only.. wait for the big wave to sweep you off your feet and carry you deeper down into the river. But that’s also a new beginning. A new part of your life that takes form, a new adventure and adventures we must all take. Perhaps you’d stay on safer grounds not knowing of what could’ve happen or not. Maybe regretting your decision of not being able to know what the outcome could’ve been even though you’d might be able to guess. Or… You take the big leap, either ending up on safe grounds discovering the land you’ve just conquered or being dragged into an even bigger adventure by the big wave of emotions, making you at some point end up at the shores of awakening.
I am at loss to know what I should choose. It’s not often when I come to like someone and certainly not this… bad. It has happened 1 time before or to be precise 1 1/2.
I always want to see the ending of things. Horror films for example. I’m a poof when it comes to that, always looking through my fingers and trying to predict what would come next or how it would end. However… Doesn’t it always end in another way that we have expected it to do? I suppose.
I think… I will just remove my hands and see clear, gripping the sides of the bridge for balance as I throw myself out to the hands of Destiny, or to say the Norns.
Iðunn